My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
