i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Randomize
