who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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