Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
