we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
