Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
