I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
