She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
