i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
