We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
