My nipple is on Facebook.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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