so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
