I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
