HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
