i just had sex bonerless
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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