I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
