Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
