Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
