All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
