Will you blow on my dice?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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