she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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