Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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