So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
