I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
