Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
