watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
