32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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