I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I believe in your delicious
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
