mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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