How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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