I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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