Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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