i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
