I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
