he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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