you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
