So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
