Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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