What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
