I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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