Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
