you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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