should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
