Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
