when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
