Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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