The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
