Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
