So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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