seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
