What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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