their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
