dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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