How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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