And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was confusing and full of hummus
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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