if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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