The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
