At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
