ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
