i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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