Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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