oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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