We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
