I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
