Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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