Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if only i could text you this smell
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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