once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
